To write wedding vows, start by listing key aspects of your relationship, such as special memories, what you love about your partner, and your future hopes. 

Then, structure your vows by beginning with an affirmation of your partner and relationship, sharing a meaningful story or inside joke, and making specific promises for the future, incorporating humor and your unique personality. 

Finish with a powerful statement of commitment and practice reading them aloud to ensure they flow well and are within your desired length. 

Steps to Writing Your Vows

1. Brainstorm & List Your Thoughts

• • Think about how your partner makes you feel and what you admire most about them. 

  • Jot down special moments, inside jokes, or significant memories you've shared. 

  • Consider your shared values, goals, and hopes for the future together. 

2. Structure Your Vows

• • Introduction: Begin by addressing your partner and stating your intention to marry them. 

  • Personal Connection: Include a story or memory that illustrates your love and connection. 

  • Promises: Make specific promises, both serious and lighthearted, that are unique to your relationship. 

  • Future: Look ahead and express your excitement for the journey you'll take together. 

  • Conclusion: End with a powerful statement of lifelong commitment. 

3. Refine and Personalize

• • Be Authentic: Write in a voice that is true to you and your relationship, not what you think you "should" say. 

  • Add Humor: Don't be afraid to include inside jokes or lighthearted elements to show your unique personality. 

  • Be Concise: Aim for a length that feels right for you, generally keeping them short and sweet to avoid rambling. 

4. Practice and Finalize

• • Practice Out Loud: Read your vows aloud to yourself or to a trusted friend to get comfortable with the words and pacing. 

  • Create a Clean Copy: Write your final vows on a special card or in a vow book, rather than just on your phone, for the big day. 

Songs to listen to for inspiration /quotes:

Love Songs and Poems to woo

Here’s a blend of alternative music and poems—with a love-infused lens—that you can use for inspiration, reflection, or creative referencing. I've curated a list of both alternative love songs and love-centric poems that offer a spectrum from tender to tormented, dreamy to defiant.

Alternative Love Songs

These aren’t your traditional love ballads—expect offbeat lyrics, deep emotion, and poetic storytelling.

1. "Lover, You Should’ve Come Over" – Jeff Buckley

• Hauntingly emotional and beautifully raw.

• Themes: longing, regret, unrequited love.

2. "Sea of Love" – Cat Power (cover)

• Soft and vulnerable; stripped-down devotion.

• Great for: delicate romantic moments.

3. "First Day of My Life" – Bright Eyes

• Sweet, quirky, and disarmingly sincere.

• Line to love: "I think I was blind before I met you."

4. "Maps" – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

• Angsty, raw, and yearning.

• A modern heartbreak anthem.

• “They don’t love you like I love you.”

5. "Holocene" – Bon Iver

• Not a classic love song, but rich in emotional subtext.

• Good for capturing a love that coexists with self-discovery.

6. "Such Great Heights" – Iron & Wine (cover of The Postal Service)

• Folky, gentle, and brimming with quiet awe.

• Lyrics as metaphor-heavy as a good poem.

7. "Heartbeats" – José González (The Knife cover)

• A melancholic take on fleeting intimacy.
  

Love-Themed Poems (Alternative & Poetic-Hearted)

These poems twist the usual themes of love—more shadow than sparkle, more ache than sugar.

1. “Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond” – E.E. Cummings

• A masterclass in poetic, uncontainable love.

• “nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.”

2. “Having a Coke with You” – Frank O’Hara

• Modern, conversational, and brimming with adoration.

• “I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world.”

3. “Love After Love” – Derek Walcott

• Self-love and reconnection—perfect for introspective love references.

• “You will love again the stranger who was your self.”

4. “Variation on the Word Love” – Margaret Atwood

• Dissects the word “love” in all its overuse and under-feeling.

• “This word is far too short for us, it has only four letters.”

5. “Mad Girl’s Love Song” – Sylvia Plath

• Surreal, hallucinatory love and mental unraveling.

• “I think I made you up inside my head.”

Want to add that "spin"? Try these creative twists:

• Mix lyrics with poems to create hybrid pieces.

• Use alternative love songs as soundtracks for reading or writing poetry.

• Use imagery from both sources in visual art or collage poetry.

💞 Vow Writing Playlist

Put these together, chuck them on the big speaker & get inspired!

I. Realization & Awakening

When love clicks into focus

1. First Day of My Life – Bright Eyes
   New beginnings; seeing clearly for the first time.

2. Such Great Heights – Iron & Wine
   Wonder, admiration, awe at choosing someone.

3. Bloom – The Paper Kites
   Gentle devotion without spectacle.

4. Sea of Love – Cat Power
   Vulnerable commitment; stripped of ego.

II. Vulnerability & Choosing Each Other

Love with honesty, flaws included

1. Lover, You Should’ve Come Over – Jeff Buckley
   Emotional openness; the cost of loving deeply.

2. Maps – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
   Wanting reassurance; choosing love even when scared.

3. The Stable Song – Gregory Alan Isakov
   Steadiness, patience, quiet loyalty.

4. Heartbeats – José González
   Fleeting moments turned into something meaningful.

III. Love as Growth & Shelter

Love that makes you more yourself

1. Holocene – Bon Iver
   Humility and self-discovery alongside love.

2. Call It Dreaming – Iron & Wine
   Safety, home, emotional rest.

3. You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne
   Joy without irony; grounded happiness.

4. Shelter – The xx
   Emotional refuge; choosing each other as home.

IV. Enduring, Everyday Forever

The “this is my person” section

1. Harvest Moon – Neil Young
   Long-lasting love, seasons passing together.

2. If We Were Vampires – Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit
   Finite time making commitment meaningful (very vow-coded).

3. My Girl My Man – Wilco
   Partnership over perfection.

4. I Will Follow You Into the Dark – Death Cab for Cutie
   Devotion beyond comfort, beyond certainty.

✍️ How to Use This for Vow Writing

Here’s the trick most people miss:

• Listen actively (not passively)

• Pause when a lyric makes your chest feel tight

• Ask:

  • What promise is being implied here?

  • What fear is being acknowledged?

  • What choice is being made again and again?

Then rewrite it in your own words:

“I promise to be your shelter when the world is loud.”
“I choose you even when love feels fragile.”
“I will grow with you, not away from you.”

Some previously curated playlists on Spotify:

Metalcore 🖤

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0XKP9WTrFXMTn9QB1dL3IP?si=F8Z8F-ZgSPmpHQ17ES3Ckg&pi=9SjJtZqNRl2k7

Drifty ✨

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0hCaRKvq1ijHqzxrZtb0pG?si=YnFfWIQSRjiNW1b8aaMKMg&pi=NxAYnMA-To23f

TheNewRetro ☮️

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWV5vqkTng2MA?si=g2XZ0-fiR_OYaLqhYNe6QA&pi=BWsPdAaJSsyds

If you want, I can help draft a vow at a fee:

• *Help you draft vows inspired by this playlist (not copied, totally original)

• Narrow this down to 5 songs and build a tight emotional spine

• Or tailor it to your relationship vibe (quiet love, fiery love, long-friends-to-lovers, etc.)

Tell me the tone you’re aiming for 💛

.*$100/1hr session

Wedding Music Cue Guide

Tips For the Person Controlling the Ceremony Music

Hey music person: Thank you for helping make today so special!

Your job is simply to press play and fade or stop the music when needed. Don't stress if something isn't timed perfectly—everyone will be focused on the couple, not the music.

Before the Ceremony

☐ Arrive at least 30 minutes before the ceremony.

☐ Meet with Nicole to confirm all music files are working.

☐ Turn your phone onto Do Not Disturb or Airplane Mode (if music is already downloaded).

☐ Turn off alarms, notifications and calls.

☐ Connect to the speaker and test the volume.

☐ Open the playlist and make sure the songs are in the correct order.

☐ Set your screen so it doesn't lock while you're using it.

Music Order

1. Guest Arrival Music (Pre-Ceremony)

▶ Press Play approximately 20–30 minutes before the ceremony as guests begin arriving.

The playlist should continue quietly in the background.

When instructed by Nicole:

⏸ Pause or fade out the music.

2. Processional (Entrance Music)

Wait for Nicole to give you the signal.

▶ Press Play.

The entrance order will be:

• Groom/Partner (if applicable)

• Wedding party

• Bride/Partner

Allow the song to continue until everyone has reached the front.

Nicole will signal if the music should be faded out early.

Otherwise:

⏸ Pause or stop once everyone is in position.

3. During the Ceremony

No music is required unless the ceremony includes:

• A reading

• A ritual

• A signing (if requested)

• Any special performance

Nicole will tell you if any music is needed and will cue you when to start and stop.

4. Signing Music (If Applicable)

When Nicole indicates the legal documents are about to be signed:

▶ Press Play.

Keep the music playing softly while the paperwork is completed.

When Nicole signals:

⏸ Fade or stop the music.

5. Recessional (Walking Back Up the Aisle)

This is the big celebration!

Wait until Nicole announces the couple.

As soon as they share their first kiss and begin walking back down the aisle:

▶ Press Play immediately.

Keep the music playing while:

• The couple exits

• The wedding party exits

• Guests begin leaving the ceremony area

Volume Guide

Guest arrival: Medium volume.

Processional: Loud enough to be heard clearly, but not overpowering.

Signing: Soft background volume.

Recessional: Celebration volume—slightly louder than the processional.

If Something Goes Wrong

If you accidentally press the wrong button:

Don't panic.

Pause the music.

Take a breath.

Restart the correct song.

Everyone will understand.

If you're unsure at any point, simply look at Nicole. She'll give you a clear signal.

Signals from Nicole

▶ Pointing towards you = Get ready.

▶ Nod = Press play.

✋ Raised hand = Pause or stop the music.

👍 Thumbs up = Everything is going perfectly.

Most Important Thing

Relax!

Your job is to follow Nicole's cues and keep the music flowing. It doesn't have to be perfect—just enjoy being part of such a special day.